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This Season of Mom-ing

Summer in Texas seems to stretch on forever - the sun, the humidity....the bugs. But I'm hopeful, today, Halloween, will be the turning point to cooler weather (but not too cold!).

Yesterday was breezy and pleasant. The kids and I took our favorite outside blanket to the backyard and laid down to feel the waves of wind wash over us. Zara had a hard time sitting still, so she found an old spoon and went to work digging in the garden. Then she wanted to swing. Then she wanted to play on the monkey bars (omgeee, it gives me a heart attack every time she heads for the monkey bars). She is in a season of "busy". Her mind is always going 100mph and I am just trying to keep up with her requests (which sometimes feel more like demands, haha). She always wants to be around mommy and daddy but she also wants her space and independence - very often a tight-rope-walk between the two extremes.

So, Otto and I calmly relaxed on the blanket and were entertained as dirt was flung, scooped, and dug which in turn led to Zara's pale pink pants becoming dusty, then dirty, then mas filthy! But this is what kids are meant to do. They need these moments to dig and play independently without worry about maintaining perfectly clean pants or hairdos free from dirt. They like to be "on their own" with mom and baby brother close by.

We tried to get Zara to take a picture with us, but the dirt was more exciting ;-)

The dogs wandered around, Wiener von Braun was obviously proud of her best-little-friend's digging abilities, and there I sat - soaking in a perfect (if brief) mom moment. This season of mom-ing for me has been tough. Zara's communication is getting so much better, but there are still feelings and emotions that are hard to put into words, and adult-logic is not always logical to a two-year-old. Little brother takes a lot of care and attention, which is hard to understand. But these moments where everything and everyone is at peace - the baby is contently cooing, the toddler is preciously playing [the dogs are silently snoozing], the dinner is sweetly simmering, the breeze is beautifully blowing, the sun is softly shining, the world gives you a chance to collectively sigh a deep and guttural, "Aahhhhh". My mind has already replayed that tiny experience a thousand times, examining just how perfectly imperfect our little family is - how we all fit together so well, how much we have already shared and how many more tiny experiences my heart will gather up over the coming years.

My little Otto-bot at 5.5 months!
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