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A Few Honest Words on Mother's Day

I finally feel like I am blossoming into the mom I always pictured myself to be.


If I'm being honest - those first days and weeks and months were incredibly difficult. I was sleep deprived (duh), feeling guilty because of our issues with breastfeeding, my body was in complete disarray, and I was struggling with anxiety issues. And as life goes - we had a funeral, a graduation and a wedding all within the first 3 months and each over a 10 hour drive away from home. And while a baby is no doubt an incredibly huge life change, there were other, more subtle life changes to deal with as well. I had to learn how to take care of a newborn by myself for 2 months, then we had live-in grandparents to help bridge the gap until a spot in daycare opened up, I had a mix of emotions going back to work and finally it was a whole new routine once daycare actually started.

But all of those challenges bring us to now - Zara is almost 15 months old! She is walking and starting to talk. She has a repertoire of cute little actions. She has a decent schedule, which means the rest of the house has it's sanity! She is just so much fun.

Here are some of my current loves...
I love watching her kick and "swim" in the bathtub, she cracks up sliding back and forth chasing the water. 
I love it when she grabs books from the shelf and flips through them.
I love watching her walk over and pick out a blanket to snuggle.
I love witnessing her chase the dogs and "pet" the cat ("Gently, Zara!!")! 
I love interacting with her, napping with her, and snuggling her close so I can feel that baby smooth skin on her cheek. 
I love watching her choose a snack and drink from her water bottle. 
I love watching her try to catch the falling water in the shower. 
I love pretending to brush my teeth with her toothbrush so she likes to brush hers without screaming.
I love watching her carefully slide down the stairs only to climb right back up again. 
I can't get over her "excited" face with an exaggerated retracted lower jaw and her two little bottom teeth sticking out with surprise in her eyes - it's the best. 
I love displaying her pretty artwork and looking at the pictures her school sends during the day - I'm so grateful we found such a safe place for her to grow. 
I love taking walks and hearing a high pitched "Kitty!" accompanied by a finger pointing in the direction of the nearest dog (haha). 
I love pushing her on the swings and playing peekaboo - both make her giggle. 
I love turning on some music and watching her stop dead in her tracks in order to dance around. 
I love listening to her forget that a recorder is different than a kazoo. 
I love watching her practice her throws (so far, she can only throw behind her ;-). 

Most of all, I love that she is a part of our family - that she made me a mommy - that she has been patient with me as I continue to grow into my role as her mom. 

Happy Mother's Day to all you moms out there - especially the ones who have encouraged me through the past couple years!!

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