Skip to main content

I Have a Bone About Tone

Today's #DBlogWeek prompt: There is an old saying that states “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”. I'm willing to bet we've all disagreed with this at some point, and especially when it comes to diabetes. Many advocate for the importance of using non-stigmatizing, inclusive and non-judgmental language when speaking about or to people with diabetes. For some, they don't care, others care passionately. Where do you stand when it comes to “person with diabetes” versus “diabetic”, or “checking” blood sugar versus “testing”, or any of the tons of other examples? Let's explore the power of words, but please remember to keep things respectful.

I'll be honest, I don't really get heartburn over words. You can call me a Type 1 Diabetic, person with Diabetes, girl with weird bionic pump site stuck on her arm, space nerd, diver-betic, mission control's token busted pancreas girl - whatever. I AM all of those things, proudly. The thing that gets under my skin is tone.

It started when I was newly diagnosed. My mom (bless her heart) just had this tone, no...it was more like a tone..."Did you test? What was your number? Do you need to change your site? When was the last time you changed your lancet?" I grew to loathe those starkly direct questions. It's like I was being punished or persecuted for a disease that wasn't even my fault, and one I was trying my hardest to control even if the numbers didn't always paint that picture. [Side note, I love you mom, I really do...I absolutely know deep down you had the best intentions, you were just doing your job.]

After I was out on my own the questions changed slightly, but the tone was still present "Can you eat [insert sugary dessert here]? Is that good for you? Do you need orange juice? Who else in your family has diabetes?" Then there are the nails on a chalkboard statements, "My grandpa died from diabetes. My uncle had his foot amputated. My sister is going blind from diabetes. You must have the 'bad' diabetes. But you're not fat." Ugh, ugh, and ughhhhhhh. Just stahhhpppp! I don't need to hear these things, like, at all. I didn't do something bad to get this disease, I don't want constant reminders that it will probably kill me, and I don't want to keep doling out sympathy for some distant relative of yours that experienced something terrible because of diabetes. Sorry, I'm normally a sympathetic person, but this stuff just wears on a person.

I want to live my life free from the judgment associated with having Diabetes. I want to answer 'normal' life questions, free from a judgmental tone. Maybe something like, "How is your new little girl doing? How do you like being a mom? Can you pass the siracha?"

Answers: She is doing amazing! Being a mom is super crazy, but I love it! And no, no more siracha!
_____________________________________________________

Find more Wednesday #DBlogWeek posts here. 
Labels:

Comments

  1. Cassie ThompsonWednesday, May 18, 2016

    I just found your blog because of Diabetes Blog Week. You hit the nail on the head! Adorable baby, pass the sriracha please.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousWednesday, May 18, 2016

    Ummm, how did I miss that you are a mom now? Congratulations! She's beautiful!

    ReplyDelete
  3. KelleyWednesday, May 18, 2016

    AHH you just brought back bad memories of my mom asking if I had tested my blood sugar haha. Also, your baby girl is so precious!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. SuzanneWednesday, May 18, 2016

    I'm with you on this post! Tone matters! BTW, we have baby girls around the same age, so I was glad to stumble onto your blog. Thanks for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
  5. KatyWednesday, May 18, 2016

    What a cute baby! Hi baby! Hi!

    ReplyDelete
  6. RickWednesday, May 18, 2016

    I also have a bone about tone. But at once time I had teenagers. I then retired, not from work, (but from life). So that makes me a recovering elderly (59) parent.

    I referred your blog to the TUDiabetes blog page for the week of May 16, 2016.

    ReplyDelete
  7. CateSunday, May 22, 2016

    First time reader, long time mom...you have a BEAUTIFUL baby! Congratulations...the craziness continues but it's always worth it.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Who has two thumbs and loves comments? Nerdy April!!! Type one out and hit publish!

Popular posts from this blog

The road to curing Type 1 Diabetes

From the moment of diagnosis, the road is rough, the learning curve is steep and the stakes are literally life or death. The map is less-than-helpful - paths originating from virtually every corner, coalescing at a center point (aka "diagnosis") and bursting back outwards - some paths cross and wrap around each other but others are isolated. And even with all of these roads, most of the territory is uncharted - how did we all get here and how will we all exit? Where are the obstacles we haven't found yet? Which passage holds the key to unlocking the solution?

On any given day I feel pretty isolated with this disease - I'm the only T1D in my group at work, the only one in mission control, the only one in my family. I go through the logistics of calling insurance companies, ordering supplies, changing sites and troubleshooting malfunctions mostly on my own. Even those pesky carbs really only get counted in my brain, no group think for a meal bolus here. But there is b…
2 comments
More Nerdy This Way! »

Critical Space Item: Handle With Extreme Care

Someday I want to open a box. The box will be neatly wrapped up with an excessive amount of packaging. Its contents will have been years in the making, and even though it won't weigh much, this small box will represent a huge step forward.


As most flight hardware begins, the space-rated closed-loop insulin delivery and monitoring device inside the box will be sterile and stark. But as the batteries whir to life and insulin is placed within, it will become an extra appendage, an external pancreas, for this Type 1 astro-hopeful. Bluetooth connections will be made and doctors, hungry for telemetry from my bionic body, will be at the ready. We will rely on each other - he on I for his very existence, and I on him for my continued existence. Together we will make up one whole, completely functioning, Type 1 Diabetic astronaut.

Admittedly, this dream feels further and further from reality. I have lived with this disease just under 20 years now, and the cure has always been "just 5 …
3 comments
More Nerdy This Way! »

On 20 years with Type 1 Diabetes

I think it's finally time to hit 'publish' on this post, considering it's been sitting here for, oh you know, like 2 weeks now ;-) Sometimes I "April" about things too much (this is Chris's term), and with my dad here for Christmas I realized that it's definitely a trait passed down, haha, love you dad!


To be honest, I never thought the day would come when I would say, "I've had Type 1 Diabetes for 20 years."

20 years ago a cure was 'just on the horizon' and as an 11 year old kid I took that phrase to heart - I had to. My continued existence was based solely on whatever the endocrinologist said - pancreas, insulin, autoimmune, blood sugar, islet cells, shots. I didn't know what I didn't know at that point. I had never heard of an insulin pump or glucose meter. Ketones and hyperglycemia were just big, meaningless words. Carb ratios and counting might as well have been formulas for travelling at light speed. I wasn't ov…
5 comments
More Nerdy This Way! »
01 09 10