Monday, May 9, 2016

An Engineer's Thoughts on Motherhood

Mother's Day family selfie!!


Motherhood is the least scientific thing I think I have ever experienced. For an engineer intent on tracking the numbers and organizing the spreadsheets, the seemingly random diaper blowouts and ever changing routine has really messed with my brain. Sometimes baby girl sleeps most of the night, but right now its so sporadic that MY body doesn't follow suit. I am up at 4 am fighting off a headache and knowing that as soon as I try to go back to sleep BZ will decide its time to eat! Sometimes she likes the swing and sometimes her cry sounds like the little monkey mobile is torturing her (I have yet to see those dang monkeys attack, but she assures me they do!). Sometimes tummy time is the cat's meow and sometimes it just doesn't work. Sometimes rocking together in the glider is peaceful and calm, but other times it turns into cryfest 2016. Honestly, I just haven't quite figured this whole thing out yet. 

But for every frustrating moment there are a million amazing ones. 

Now that BZ has started smiling it has basically become my life goal to encourage those little baby grins. 
I love reading her stories and seeing her react to music. 
Sometimes just watching her sleep is incredibly calming and humbling. 
She is so tiny, but has such a big personality already. 
I sometimes wonder if we will look back on her baby traits and match them to her toddler, teenager or adult traits. 
She makes the silliest sounds - little coo's and grunts. 
She loves snuggling close and learning about the world around her. 
She is getting better at taking baths and loves to get her diaper changed - no wipe warmer needed (maybe this is TMI...oh well...all couth has gone out the window)! 

I know motherhood will continue to challenge me - but it's a challenge worth pursuing. It has already taught me so much, including setting aside those spreadsheets once in a while. Maybe life just can't be so planned out - maybe dealing with a baby's unpredictable behavior is what makes it so much fun.