Skip to main content

Normal Person Time

Ugh...tonight was horrible.

I'm already stressed to the max, and then I hear the "buzz, buzzzz" of the CGM, indicating a high blood sugar.

As much as I think, "I can conquer this disease" it still finds ways to bring me down and remind me who is boss. I just want a few hours of "NP" time, that's "normal person" time (a.k.a. "no problem" time in text lingo). I want a few hours free of the worry that comes from eating, the worry that comes with a site change, the worry that comes with exercising, the worry that comes with bad insulin or low batteries or running out of test strips or accidentally ripping out a CGM sensor or seeing the downward arrow in the middle of a meeting or forgetting glucose tablets or dealing with Diabetes totally alone.

I need some NP time real bad.

Maybe even more than all these constant worries is how a little D-related upset can impact my day-to-day interactions with co-workers, friends and family. I hate how much it upsets me sometimes, and I hate that others in my life have to deal with me dealing with IT. But it's hard to remain positive all the time when you feel that these little electronic devices filled with insulin and sensors and batteries are judging you constantly and needy, oh boy are they needy.

Can I deal with the "buzz, buzzzz"? Yes, most times I can. I reach for my pump and dial up the dose and move on. But sometimes it just really gets to me, I just want to throw it across the room and say, "If you think you're so good, you try predicting how much insulin to give for this meal!!!!" or "Yes, I see your downward arrow and red "LOW" sign, but I just ate 500 glucose tablets gosh darn it, will you just get off my back?!?!?!"

I'm not sure that anyone particularly likes all of these little "reminders" or little messages that require immediate attention, but we still sign up to get the newest ones, and take classes to learn how to implement them properly, and see A1c results that prove their usefulness.

But I could still use some NP time, furrealz. Just sayin'.

Comments

  1. When I had gestational diabetes I was chatting with my big sister and she said to just eat normal and not think about it, since I explained that it was pretty much a low carb healthy diet similar to what I ate before. I told her she didn't understand because it was like a video camera in your face with someone telling you to just act normal. The camera simply being there makes normal impossible.

    I think it's the same thing with diabetes, but every time you eat. It is always there in the back of your mind. Every time you look at a clock, or exercise, or feel a little sick, diabetes gets it's second of attention no matter what you are trying to do to avoid it.

    I'm so sorry you have to deal with this trial. I hope robo-pancreatic cells make it out of experiments soon. I offer to you a heart felt, "Man, that sucks!"

    ReplyDelete
  2. NO DOUBT SISTER! Yes - a totall all caps moment.

    I think the amount of micromanaging we do in today's diabetes actually comes at a great cost to our sanity. Furrealz. :-)

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Who has two thumbs and loves comments? Nerdy April!!! Type one out and hit publish!

Popular posts from this blog

The road to curing Type 1 Diabetes

From the moment of diagnosis, the road is rough, the learning curve is steep and the stakes are literally life or death. The map is less-than-helpful - paths originating from virtually every corner, coalescing at a center point (aka "diagnosis") and bursting back outwards - some paths cross and wrap around each other but others are isolated. And even with all of these roads, most of the territory is uncharted - how did we all get here and how will we all exit? Where are the obstacles we haven't found yet? Which passage holds the key to unlocking the solution?

On any given day I feel pretty isolated with this disease - I'm the only T1D in my group at work, the only one in mission control, the only one in my family. I go through the logistics of calling insurance companies, ordering supplies, changing sites and troubleshooting malfunctions mostly on my own. Even those pesky carbs really only get counted in my brain, no group think for a meal bolus here. But there is b…

International Travel with Type 1 Diabetes

Whew! Back from one international trip and on to another next week! I will admit my eyes roll every time I get the "we're gunna need to pat you down" talk at TSA, but international travel is a whole different animal. I thought it might be fun to see what goes through my brain and into my bags for these types of trips!


I wouldn't be a NASA Flight Controller if I wasn't good at planning, the key to international travel as a T1D is PLANNING!

3 months prior

Assess supplies. Mine come in 90-days supplies so I like to inventory at least 3 months prior and make a plan to order more early if the trip is going to coincide with the end of my 90-day stock. In my experience supply companies are usually pretty good about adjusting orders as needed if you tell them the reason for the early request - just mention you have an international trip coming up and want to make sure to have plenty of supplies (and backups!) in time. Request a loaner insulin pump. It's likely the comp…

Hot OJT

Last week I had the chance to mentor a newly certified ADCO trainee - the NASA process is called "Hot On-The-Job-Training", or Hot OJT. What makes it "hot" you ask? Well, essentially I am hands off - he is sitting at the console, working all the plan reviews and updates, making calls to other flight controllers and to the flight director, reacting to anomalies and preparing material for the shift handover. My job is to act as the fault tolerance - a backup ADCO of sorts.

Tuesday was his last official day and by Wednesday morning he was in the backroom sending commands to ISS in preparation for the docking of a three-person Soyuz.


The beauty of this system is the gradual buildup in responsibility. There is a subtle shift from student, to subject matter expert, to fresh operations trainee to advanced trainee and finally to certification and real-time operations flight controller - the process takes two years on average and is considered by many to be enough specializ…
01 09 10