Thursday, August 4, 2011

It's kinda like the 2-mile-high club, except not at all.

Yes, I just used "mile high club" in a blog title, get over it.

I've been severely lacking in my Colorado blog posting duties. In fact, I'm sure Dave has checked my blog a million times trying to catch a glimpse at my sure-to-be-incredible Colorado update...just kidding ;-) But seriously.

I usually try to capture a few lessons learned when I experience something new in flight test, for instance here, here, and here. So without further ado...the mile-high list of learned things (that was a pun...maybe the altitude is getting to me...can hypoxia symptoms = terrible use of puns? ... ok, back on topic):

1,000 ft: 04:30 flight briefs are not that bad...lesson learned: get yourself some crack coffee to make it through an hour of driving, an hour of bad winds, and 4+ hours of maintenance repairs. Watch out for that two o'clock yearning for some FTE-NT (flight test engineer nap time); it hits like a 1,640 lb ton of concrete. You know what I mean.

2,000 ft: Old guys sure can make some pretty hand plots. That's right...I said HAND plots. These are Excel quality, people...special characters and all. Maybe I will be able to make some badass hand plots when I'm old ;-)

3,000 ft: It turns out the CG of your suitcase shifts forward slightly greatly with 10 pounds of aircraft bolts inside. My genius must have kicked when I packed them on top.

4,000 ft: Everyone thinks it sucks to be a girl in a field with so many males. This couldn't be further from the truth. Just think about the bathroom situation real quick. 'Nuf said.

5,000 ft: DUDE! Baby doll heads are creepy. The end.

6,000 ft: You realize there are relatively few Flight Test Engineers in this world after you post a picture at Leadville and receive a Facebook comment from your 76 year-old Boeing friend telling you stories about when he worked there in 1955. Honestly, it probably hasn't changed much.

7,000 ft: Did anyone else think the sodas were more bubbly up here? Maybe that was just the hypoxia again.

8,000 ft: Make some time to forget about helicopters at least once a day and just soak up the beautiful scenery. This usually happened for me while looking at Mt. Massive and waiting for the coffee to kick in.

9,000 ft: When they say it's a "music festival" don't be's really a music-heymanIjustsmokedadoobie-festival.

And the 10,000 footer......

10,000 ft: Pimped out helicopters look even sexier with those 14,000 ft peaks behind them. I'm not sayin'...I'm just sayin'.

Peace out, Colorado....see you on the flip side.