Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Diabetes: Being a Bum in Nerdy April's Body Since 1998

This week is Diabetes Blog Week. Obviously, I skipped out a little bit yesterday...I had some bigger news ;-) But today I am participating by writing a letter to my condition. Also, I am extremely humbled by Jen's and Angela's posts mentioning me yesterday!!

Dear Diabetes,

Hardly a day goes by that I don't think about you. Wait, no, there has not been a day since December 30th, 1998 that I have not thought about you. You have seen me at my lowest, and been privy to my highest (literally). You have challenged me, embarrased me, and poked me...in fact, all three on a daily basis. You are consistently inconsistent, and frankly a little annoying. [It's ok, I can say that about you since you decided to feast on my pancreas and short out some feedback loops, just sayin'].

You have initiated battles (i.e. the FAA) and initiated friendships (Holly and Victoria!!!). You have forced me to be stronger and challenged me to live without your restraints always tugging. You have given me a unique voice on this little blog to mix space and Diabetes. You have allowed me to break barriers and inspire others.

But don't get a big head, because the truth is...you still suck.

You still make me feel awful, give me the shakes, and make me break out in sweats. You still poke me several times a day, and sometimes it really hurts! You still increase my risk of so many of your other little friends. You still statistically decrease my lifespan, and bar me from many professions...astronaut being one of them. You still wake me up in the middle of the night for no good reason, just to make me poke myself and realize your low blood sugar feature is acting up again. You still give me anxiety everytime I eat.

But I have learned to deal. I have learned to talk and read blogs. I have learned to push through your challenges. I have learned to have rational thoughts without you in them. I am still learning to not feel guilty when you show up with a high or low blood sugar. I am still learning that you are not my fault. I am still learning how to tell others about you without them freaking out. And that's ok. I will get better at those things, Lord knows we have a lifetime to work them out.

Love, Me

PS: I have already thought of a special way to work you into my wedding! So there!!!