Friday, March 25, 2011

My Anti-Diabetes Drug

Sometimes having Diabetes is overwhelming. And sometimes it makes you sad for really no good reason. For instance, last night.

I'm not sure what triggered it...I didn't have to change my site, I didn't go low, I didn't lose my test kit, nothing. In fact, I was quite enjoying watching The Office and cuddling with the wiener dog. All in all, a pleasant and relaxed evening.

But all of a sudden, there it was: that completely overwhelming feeling, all the bad thoughts, the feeling of being trapped in a body that's broken, the tunnel without a light at the end. The sinking feeling of pretending to be fine, when I'm sitting at a blood sugar of 300. Always being worried about carrying enough supplies just to keep myself alive. Dealing with incorrect bills, doctors that make you feel guilty for wanting more supplies, and fighting your way through an FAA medical certification. It's tough, and more than that...it's never ending, literally.


I love these "man and his wiener dog" pics...
even if I have to be sneaky about taking them.
 After a few deep breaths, I realized I was missing something: the BF. You may be surprised to know that he is an integral part of my Diabetes health management. It's not really the fact that he helps me change my sites and grabs extra test strips before we go out (although those are helpful ;-), it is more the idea that he helps keep my mind from worrying so much about Diabetes. He makes light of it and pushes me to do things that I'm not sure I would feel comfortable doing on my own (read: SCUBA diving). It is like sharing responsibility for a child, but in this case the child is Diabetes. He makes Diabetes blend into my everyday life better, and doesn't cut me down or judge me if I have to stop and test my blood sugar.

He makes Diabetes bearable. And for that I am immensely thankful!

Happy Friday everyone ;-)