Monday, January 3, 2011

Thankfully[?] I Forgot

Something weird happened this year. Ok, a lot of weird things happened this year. 

Amid my frenzy to finish up my grad school classes, pack my car full of Christmas goodies, rope the BF into driving with me out to Arizona, playing cards, attending Christmas services, completing some after Christmas shopping, re-packing the car, and narrowly missing a wrong turn into Juarez...I forgot something. It crept up on me. Not something that should necessarily be celebrated, but something that should definitely be noted. Something so ingrained in my life I apparently didn't give it's inception date any thought. I missed my Dia-versary

For a few moments in time this Christmas, I slipped back to my old ways... of coping on my own, not aware of the DOC support, not relying on those posts by fellow D-bloggers to motivate me past my crummy Diabetes control. I relied on myself, and only enough to "get-through" (Diabetes-speaking) two weeks of vacation. I ate crappy fast food, yes, even on my unbeknown-to-me Dia-versary. Diabetes was silent this Christmas in an effort to focus more on my precious family time and less on the pain and annoyance of IT. I made it through, I'm still alive. But part of me is upset that I missed the significance of December 30. A day when I should have at least given thanks for my complication-free 12 year relationship with Type 1 Diabetes. A day when I should have reminded my parents that I truly appreciate all their support. And while honestly, Type 1 Diabetes is a crappy Christmas present for an 11-year-old, I can't help but think it has helped to shape me into a more forgiving, appreciative, and empathetic person.

And although it passed silently this year, it is not a time to be silent. I have lived 12 years with this all taking and no giving disease, 12 years with no [direct] complications, 12 years that could have been a lot more difficult without my family, friends and all of those in the DOC. It's weird to think that I have now lived my life the "majority" with Diabetes, but today is full of weird things and I am constantly learning to slow down and at least reflect when it is due. 

So, while I am not thrilled about having it, I am definitely not ashamed of it. I choose not to be silent, I choose to remain hopeful for a cure. Even if it sounds ridiculous, oxy-moronish, or weird...Happy belated Dia-versary to me!