Sunday, December 12, 2010

When the "Manly" breaks down...

I guess you could say that I am an introvert when it comes to my feelings. And maybe writing a post like this is completely hypocritical after that last statement, but roll with me.

Here is when you might have an epiphany that I am less "manly" than all the guys at work think. No, I don't wear makeup, and yes, "heel" is a four-letter word, and no I don't get offended by cuss words or bodily functions....but the manly persona breaks down when it comes to feelings.

This may be slightly long and drawn out....I'm sure you already stopped reading if you are a guy, so good job.

The whole "feeling" I am having right now decided to rear it's head last night, as I was painting some goofy penguins, drinking ehem...stuff, and chatting with a bunch of "Southerners" (aka...the BF's extended family). Ironically, I won the only door prize with a carbohydrate content 5-times what my insulin pump will cover (see Figure A).
Notice enormous choco-Penguin over there to the right...yup, perfect prize for a Diabetic.
I began thinking about how much I miss Chris lately. We have so many inside jokes and stupid things we laugh about. We are both horrible cooks. We both lack cleaning skills. And we both procrastinate way to much. We both enjoy late night trips to Sonic. We both think it's cool that we live so close to the Saturn V. And we both suck at getting up early. But at the root of everything, we both really love each other. We bend over backwards making compromises for each other, and that's ok, that's how it should be. 

I was excited to finally move to Huntsville and put all this "long-distance-relationship" crap behind us; but I have come to learn that in a relationship like this "long-distance" is always part of the equation. After 3 1/2 years of dating, and 3 years of Christmases spent 1600 miles apart, I guess I had this weird, illogical feeling that maybe this year would be different. Maybe by some crazy chance of fate we could spend Christmas 2010 within the same time zone, state, maybe even zip code. Maybe we could spend, what I think is one of the most romantic days of the year, TOGETHER. Selfish old me is realizing that this year is just not the year; nor should it be, nor could it be. We both need to be with our own families, and unfortunately that means we must be 1600 miles apart. 

When I expressed these feelings to Chris last night, I was met with a chuckle on the other end of the phone, "Haha, don't worry pup, we will have a lot more Christmases to spend together." And that made everything better.